Loneliness is a killer. Ordinarily, most people do not want to be lonely. Relationships are about connecting with people and especially when you lose contacts with loved ones or people you want to be in contact with, you feel lonely even in the midst of people.
Loneliness is a big life challenge because it can deal negatively with your self-worth and self-esteem. It can bring down your self-esteem. It has a way of making you feel incapacitated. You can’t seem to think of anything meaningful to move your life forward. Loneliness can make you feel jealous and envious. It can make you start having feelings of rejection, dejection, abandonment, frustration and even depression. Some had muted the idea of suicide just because they felt nobody cares about them anymore.
‘MarketWatch’ reports that nearly half of Americans report feeling lonely at one point or another. This is whooping when one considers the effect of loneliness all around the World. In some cultures, especially in black Africa, where you may not even have the opportunity to voice out your feeling of loneliness, it could be overwhelming.
When you eventually escape from loneliness, it could feel like a hallucination. You feel on top of the World. You feel like a bird let out of the cage. You feel so happy and joyful. It’s actually hilarious when you come out of loneliness. And especially when you’re now ‘chilling’ in the arms of your love or in the midst of great people of your tribe.
I never noticed I could feel lonely until I felt I have come of age to have a life partner. And you know, as maturity comes, you become more self-aware. As I started the woman-hunt for the love of my life, I got more Nos than YESes. Mostly, those I did not quite like say YES while those I like say NO. I would go into my shell and after nursing more wounds, I would launch back again. There were no significant successes. As a result, I had fallen into emotional depressions a couple of times.
The question has always been: what did you do to swim out of the mighty ocean of loneliness?
Joining Groups: In my local church, there are a number of pious societies. I have two of them that I am always fascinated about namely: Catholic Charismatic Renewal and Justice, Development and Peace Commission. I registered and we normally have fellowships three days in a week. I enjoy the happenings there and I find it fun engaging in the weekly activities.
Getting Online: Life has become easier with the advent of Social Media especially when it comes to dealing with loneliness. You could literally make a friend in a fly. I have become friends with people I never knew from Adam through chats and we’ve taken it offline, and we had actually become close friends. You could make friends instantly from Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, etc.
Start Something New: It was actually in the course of my loneliness that I discovered one gift that God had deposited in me. And that is the ability to put words together. I had been struggling to polish the skill and today, I had written two published books. Writing takes the whole of you and you won’t even remember anything called loneliness as you are consumed putting your train of thoughts down in the most effective way.
Tell a Close Friend: If you’re challenged by loneliness, do not keep it to yourself. Relay it to someone who really cares about you. I confided in my sister who is also my friend on the ordeals that I was passing through. I got great support from her.
Vulnerability: I know myself to be an introvert. But I had to learn to be more open to people. I become intentional now to warm up to people. I smile. I greet. I hug. I can share anything under the sun about me without feeling ashamed of it.
In all, loneliness is not something anyone would like to experience. However, it’s like two sides of the same coin. Which side would you like to see yourself? I am for the positive side where I can use it as a stepping stone to work on my weaknesses and also, improve on my strengths.